August 1, 1987
River City Wrestling #294

Regina, Saskatchewan

 

-Pardue is an impressive specimen as a former bodybuilder but did not have the repetoire, experience, or aggression level to compete against someone of Madusa's capabilities.

 

Bassarab goes through his thought process this week on whether or not to vacate the title to take one more shot at Disalvo. The fans seem split but slightly more vocal telling him to keep his title. Goldstein assures Bassarab that he will be given every opportunity to earn more title shots, and points out that at 16 months and still going this run as champ is reaching epic proportions. Disalvo tells Bassarab that if he is too small and weak to run with the big dogs to keep his second place title, kind of like the Miss Congeniality winner at a beauty pageant. Everyone thinks your a dog, but they give you a reward because you would make a great friend.

Bassarab does not seem to be swayed by Disalvo's bait, and remains calm. However, he says nothing said today has changed his mind which he made up this morning with a clear head. Bassarab hands the TV Title belt to Marty Goldstein, and says that he officially relinquishes the belt in return for one more fair title shot at Steve Disalvo. The fans cheer Bassarab, and Disalvo just smiles at him.

Everyone seems to be waiting to hear from the host Chris Champion but they notice he can't keep his eyes off the belt that Goldstein is holding. Marty asks Champion if he thinks he is "Championship Material", and then suggests that maybe his guests next week should be the Terminators.

 

-Cummings gave a yeoman's effort but was no match for this monster of a man. He once again impressed the audience with his ability to hit a chickenwing suplex, but then hushed the crowd when he nailed the heartpunch and Cummings dropped like a rock to the mat.

 

Post-Match:

The paramedics are called to check on Cummings who doesn't appear to be breathing.

 

Interview:

After a commercial break Ron Strong is livid with John Studd for almost killing Cummings, noting that if he had been older and less fit then he might well have died. Studd calls Strong a drama queen, and offers to demonstrate the heartpunch on Strong, who declines. When the interview turns once again as to why Studd is in RCW and who the bounty is on that he says he wants to collect, Studd once again refuses to answer the question. He says the targeted party will know soon enough.

 

Kevin Kelly comes to the ring with Madusa. He says that last week he showed Steve Disalvo what killer instinct is really about when he disposed of his unworthy opponent Bernie Stihl in just over a minute, instead of carrying him to five minutes like Disalvo did with Zumhoffe. However, Kelly says he is a perfectionist, whether it be in delivering his reverse neckbreaker, or in his choice of women, or in his body development, and that match last week was not perfect. He set a goal to beat Stihl in under a minute but came up short. So he wants another chance, and calls out Bernie Stihl.

The youngster comes out looking very worried, and doesn't want to take the match. So Kelly throws in a sweetner. If Stihl can last a minute with him then he will get a nice big, wet, juicy kiss and hug from Madusa after the match!! Stihl changes his mind and takes the match.

 

-Kelly pounced on Stihl even before the opening bell, nailed a powerslam and almost got the 3 count in the first 10 seconds of the match. He made a mistake though and whipped Stihl to the ropes. The youngster grabbed onto the ropes and then left the ring. Kelly realizing the effects of the stalling tactics went after him, and he and Madusa chased Stihl around the ring. They had him between them so the rookie rolled into and through the ring, followed by Kelly which also broke up the ref's count. By the time they caught up to him Kelly punished him with a couple of punches, a pair of elbows to the bridge of the nose, a bodyslam, and then his finisher, for the win. Everyone waited anxiously for the official announcement.

 

Post-Match:

When the ring announcer said "one minute and five seconds" the place went nuts, as did Kelly. But true to their word Madusa stepped forward to liplock with the eager looking Stihl. But just as they were about to kiss Madusa gave him a knee to the groin, and Kelly then drove him to the mat driving his knee into the back of Stihl's head. He continued to kick away at the smaller man with Madusa cheering him on until Owen Hart hit the ring to make the save.

 

Owen Hart calls Kevin Kelly a no class bully, and Madusa a tramp. He challenges Kelly to a match next week. On the topic of the tag titles he says he is done for now chasing the cheating Terminators, but says he has unfinished business with Chris Champion too if there paths ever cross again. He wishes the Queen City Killers luck in beating the Terminators for the belts.

 

Video:

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2 provides the music, while RCW shows highlites of the Ben Bassarab TV Title reign, his victories over Kelly Kiniski, Kid Gallahad, & Dan Kroffat to win the title tournament in March 86; and victories during his reign over Chris Lyon, Great Gama, Steve Blackman at WS3, Manny Silva (in a cage), Kid Gallahad, the Destroyer at the 7th Anniversary Spectacular, Neil Guay, J.J. Funk, Armand Rougeau, Mr. Saito, Boris Zhukov, and Chris Champion, as well as his failure to take the big title in matches against Bob Backlund, and Steve Disalvo.

 

-Mercury is like so 1984 with his pastel colors, his white framed sunglasses, no socks and white suit, but he's still a fan favorite with his high energy attack having very little trouble with the Raider.

 

Ron Strong welcomes "cool" Nick Mercury to RCW. Mercury says its only appropriate that he uses a hotshot as his finisher as he is going to hotshot his way to the top of River City. He mentions that he has his sites set on the vacant RCW TV title. When asked who his rolemodels are, or who he emmulates, instead of wrestlers he decides to answer with Val Kilmer and Don Johnson.

 

[end of first hour]

 

-the native pair had some momentum early on, and then the match went back and forth before the younsters pulled out a quick doubleteam to pick up the win.

 

The Queen City Killers say they have been granted a title shot next week against the Terminators.

 

Warner Brothers is proud to release to theatres this weekend, Jason Patric, Dianne Weist, Corey Haim, and Corey Feldman in the youth horror/comedy flic, "The Lost Boys".

After moving to a new town, two brothers are convinced that the area is frequented by vampires.

Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire.

 

-Zumhoffe totally controlled the first 5 minutes of this match, and made Champion look silly. That ended though when Champion grabbed the ropes and Zumhoffe's dropkick hit nothing but air. Champion dominated the last 2 minutes of the match with a swinging neckbreaker, savate kicks, a jawbuster, and then his finisher.

 

After the match Chris Champion was set up to be interviewed by Ron Strong. But as the interview started music got turned on in the ring by the recovered Zumhoffe, on his ghetto blaster, and he left the ring to celebrate with the fans. Angered by this interruption Champion went over and blindsided Zumhoffe and then nailed him with a superkick once again.

 

Mike Lozansky came out and challenged Chris Champion to a match next week for what he just did to his friend Buck Zumhoffe.

 

 

Strangler Steve Disalvo (champion) (/w Lisa Caress)

v

Ben Bassarab

 

There was an air of electricity in the arena as Bassarab looking focused and stoic came into the ring and waited the champion. After instructions and the pat down the bell rang, and immediately the champ's shenanighans began. It started with a couple refusals to lock up, some meaningless complaints by Lisa Caress, then complaints that Bassarab had pulled his hair when they did lock up. Finally Disalvo let the frustrated Bassarab have his title shot, and he began by pounding the smaller challenger. He drove him down to the mat with several forearm hammers to the back, then a double stomp. Disalvo used his boot to rake the head and then choke Bassarab. He picked him up to deliver a bodyslam, but the challenger deftly hung on and rolled up Disalvo, for a 2 count. Back on their feet Disalvo pounced with a kick, then a clothesline, followed by a running clothesline for a 2 count.

Disalvo continued to punish the challeger with kneedrops, a backbreaker which he held onto, a Canadian backbreaker, and finally a standing surfboard. Bassarab refused to submit though and when Disalvo went for a DDT from the second rope, Bassarab drove foreward instead putting his shoulder into the gut of the champ, then flipping him to the mat. Bassarab stalled for time, then countered a clothesline attempt with a duck under and a reverse roll-up for another 2 count.

Bassarab took over the match now with kicks, dropkicks, several hiptosses, a back bodydrop, but when he went for his flying crossbody block finisher Disalvo caught him in the air and threw him to the mat.

Too beat to take advantage Disalvo rested for a few seconds before taking a powder out of the ring. After a couple feigned attempts to get back into the ring before complaining that Bassarab was too close, he decided to just leave the arena throwing up his hands. Lisa Caress went to fetch the title belt while he walked up the ramp.

It was just a ploy though and as an enraged Bassarab ran up the ramp to clobber Disalvo the champ turned around in time and gave him a hard backbody drop onto the floor. The champ then dragged the challenger back into the ring and continued his assault on the back. He set up Bassarab as if for a piledriver but instead held him up while he pounded away at his back, before driving him into the mat and getting a 2 count. The champ went to work with a backbreaker, more stomps, a bow and arrow submission, and then another two backbreakers for good measure. He covered but Bassarab managed to get a foot on the bottom rope.

The challenger made one last attempt at a comeback, using his fists, but then a simple dropkick while connecting with the champ caused him to land on his back, and he was hurt again. The champ pounced with a hanging vertical suplex for a 2 count and then locked in the Boston crab. Bassarab survived about 20 seconds in the move as he made his way to the ring ropes, but before he could get the break the champ sat up and pulled the challenger to the middle of the ring again. Not his normal finishing move the Boston crab was effective none the less due to Disalvo's strength and the injured state of Bassarab's back. The challenger survived another 20 seconds in the crab before Buddy Lane lifted his arm up three times, and it fell three times to hush the cheering crowd.

[Steve Disalvo retained the RCW Heavyweight Championship]

 

Post-Match:

As Disalvo celebrates, the crowd comes to their feet when Big John Studd comes to the ring. Disalvo stops in his tracks and gets into a defensive posture as Studd enters the ring and just stares at him. The crowd goes nuts as the tension builds. But their disapointment is audible when Studd points towards Bassarab and tells Disalvo to pick him up and hold him. Disalvo smirks as he pulls Bassarab to his feet and pins his arms behind his back. The fans jeer as Studd takes his time before pulling back and then clobbering...Disalvo. The fans cheer but is it a mistake or on purpose. That question is put to rest when Studd hits Disalvo again with a double axhandle chop, and again, and then a headbutt. Studd then delivers a punishing belly-to-belly suplex. Finally he stands Disalvo up, while Lisa Caress is shrieking from the ring apron, and gives him the devastating heart punch! Disalvo is down and out. 

 

That's it for another edition of River City Wrestling.

 

See ya next week!!!

 

 

 

August 8, 1987
River City Wrestling #295

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

 

-squash match

 

Nick Mercury is asked why he has come to RCW and replies that he fell in love with a girl in a restaurant, she turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, but lost her to a childhood love who she last saw on a deserted island and turned out 15 years later to be the leader of the Nicaraguan underground. So he has come to RCW to forget about all that, but thaks Ron Strong for bringing back those painful memories. When asked if he has any advice to the youngsters out there who aspire to be pro wrestlers, Mercury stares into the camera and says always remember, people change, hairstyles change, and interest rates fluctuate, or like they say in German; Die Sauerkraut ist in mein Lederhosen.

 

Marty Goldstein announces that a 16-man tournament will be held next week to fill the vacant RCW TV Title, and that the hall of fame committee has been asked to rank the top 16 contenders for that belt and then the tournament will follow a traditional 1 v 16 format. Goldstein says that the round of 16, quarterfinals, and semifinals will be held next week but the final match will be held the week after.

Goldstein also announces that Ben Bassarab's name is being considered for ranking.

 

-squash match

 

Boris Zhukov wants into the TV title tournament. He believes that if he can control the TV then he can control the capitalist expansion. He says he hopes he gets the draw against Ben Bassrab to put him in his place.

 

September is rapidly approaching, and in River City, September is Battle Royale night. This year RCW is promising the fans twice as much fun as in the past.

 

-fairly even match but the Natives pick up a much needed win as they have been on the slide as of late.

 

The tag team champions come out looking like they are in a nasty mood. But to his credit Chris Champion does not back away. He laces into the Terminators, saying he brought them into RCW, he helped them on the way to the top, and he helped them when they needed it two weeks ago against the Hart Brothers. And the thanks he gets is a beating? Riggs though makes it clear for Champion. They owe him nothing, he didn't train them, he didn't work out every morning in the gym with them, he didn't loan them money, he did nothing for them. And as far as why they beat him down, the stipulations of the match were if they got disqualified they would forfeit the belts. Riggs stabs Champion in the chest with his finger and says he almost got them disqualified, he could have cost them the title, and that was the way they had of telling him to mind his own business. With that the tag champs turn to leave, but Champion makes the mistake of puting his hands on Wolff, turning him around. The Terminators react with anger and Champion is on the end of another two on one beating, including a doomsday device.

 

-squash match

 

There is no longer evading the subject of the bounty that John Studd says he is here to collect. He reveals the price tag is $10,000 and that he will collect if he hurts Disalvo long enough to have him stripped of the RCW title. Studd will not reveal who put the bounty on Disalvo's head or if he even knows who put the bounty out.

Studd calls out Disalvo to come to the ring, but their is no response from the champion.

 

[end of first hour]

 

-Champion gave it a good effort but he was still banged up after his beatdown from the Terminators and never really had 100% to give to this match

 

Mike Lozansky acknowledges that Champion was not 100% in this match but that is what makes someone a "champion", being able to fight through it. He says he would welcome a rematch under even terms, but right now wants to prepare for next week's TV title tournament that he hopes to win.

 

We were all set to have Owen Hart take on Kevin Kelly, when Kelly got on the mic and said that it wasn't just Hart that he had pissed off it was Bernie Stihl too. Kelly says that Stihl should have the chance to avenge himself, and offers to make this a handicap match. Owen can hardly say no to this change without looking like a heel, but everyone realizes that this is actually in Kelly's favor that Stihl might be the weak link.

 

-Owen started the match and took it to Kelly for the first three minutes. Then true to script he tagged out to Stihl who had a couple of shots at Kelly, went to tag out but Kelly clobbered him from behind to prevent that from happening. Kelly went to work on Stihl with some stomps, a vertical suplex, a shoulderblock coming off the ropes, then hit his finisher to pick up the win.

 

Owen Hart tries to put a positive spin on the loss, but wants another one on one match against Kevin Kelly.

 

[The Terminators retained the RCW Tag Team Titles]

Typical small guys versus big guys match, with the heels taking full advantage of their size as well as ability to cheat. Both Jett Black and Alex Cambridge had extended time playing Ricky Morton, and their comebacks were short and unsustained. In the end the Terminators really dominated the match.

 

That's it for another edition of River City Wrestling.

 

See ya next week!!

 

August 15, 1987
River City Wrestling #296

Brandon, Manitoba

 

 

 

 

-Ben Bassarab the former champion did not show up and therefore forfeited his spot in the tournament

 

-very even match but War Cloud could not handle the high octane offensive burst that Cummings put on in the last couple of minutes.

 

-after Champion controlled the Queen City Killer in the early goings with some martial arts but mostly some cheap shots, Cambridge made a comeback and all but had this match won. Champion managed to move out of the way of a splash attempt in the corner, and then rolled up Cambridge for the win.

 

-tough going recently for Zumhoffe continually facing these monstrous opponents (Disalvo, Studd, now Riggs). None the less a big upset for one half of the tag champions.

 

 

-a wonderful match-up of two high flyers saw Hart control the majority of the match until Kevin Kelly seized an opportunity on a ref bump to come down to the ring apron and clobber Owen Hart from behind. The QCK wasn't happy about the interference but could do little else then to hit a couple of moves and take the tainted win.

 

-very fast match for a very fast wrestler, the bullet.

 

-major upset although not much was known yet about Mercury. One thing that can be said though is that he marches to the beat of his own drummer, as he donned an NCAA style headgear to protect himself from Zhukov's headbutt, and it was allowed by the referee because there is no specific rule to prevent it. This frustrated Zhukov and his anger led him right into the hands of his younger and smaller opponent.

 

-the other half of the tag team champions advanced in the tournament, and the last of the Three Little Indians all went down to defeat.

 

 

 

-fairly easy match for Cummings

 

-a good measure of revenge for Champion as he beat one of the tag champs who punked him out.

 

 

-another real fast match for "the Bullet", but even though their match was only two minutes long these two agile wrestlers went full tilt for the entire two minutes in a series of wrestling sequences that drew a standing ovation at the completion. The two also shook hands at the end of the match.

 

-a second straight upset victory, a second straight quick bout, and a real fluky win for Mercury who caught Wolff coming at him off the ropes, nailed him with the hotshot which was his first and only offensive move of the match and picked up the pin

 

 

-Cummings did a real good job throughout the match of avoiding the superkick and seemed to be fighting from behind the entire bout. The end came though after Champion used the ref to screen him and then caught Cummings unaware with his finisher.

 

-well after both men had short quarterfinal matches they went the distance on the semifinal match. Back and forth these two went at it like they shared the same playbook. It only got nasty the last couple of minutes and Lozansky shot over Mercury from the ring grabbed him as he stood on the ring apron and slammed him down to the mat. Back inside he hit his finisher to advance to the finals.

 

 

That's it for another edition of River City Wrestling.

 

See ya next week!!

 

August 22, 1987
River City Wrestling #297

Winnipeg, Manitoba

 

-squash match

 

Madusa says that so far Orca has been ducking her, and so she is going to hunt her down just like in the movie Orca, but with a much different ending. Madusa says that gold looks good on her, as it will after she disinfects the belt because its probably been lost in one of Orca's fat rolls.

 

 

-Zumhoffe thought he might catch a break from all the big guys he as been facing as of late, but had to be discouraged when out came the 6'6 340 pound pig farmer. But this time Zumhoffe was able to use his experience and speed to overwhelm his opponent.

 

The frenetic Buck "Rock 'n Roll" Zumhoffe is eager to get his stay in RCW back on the tracks of success.

 

 

Pre-Match:

Boris Zhukov demanded a rematch against Nick Mercury, who obliged coming to the ring wearing that collegiate headgear. But this time referee Buddy Lane was reluctantly ready with a ruling that the headgear was not allowed without a doctors note which Mercury did not have. So he was forced to remove the headgear.

 

-Zhukov dominated early, Mercury made a high impact comeback, then Zhukov turned the momentum around again. Zhukov tried to whip Mercury to the ropes but the youngster put on the brakes and tried to send the Russian to the ropes, but Zhukov collded with Buddy Lane. Mercury slipped out of the ring and came back wearing a black and yellow striped mask. He worked over Zhukov, and when Lane recovered he counted 1, 2 Kickout!! Then Lane noticed the mask but must have decided he could do nothing about it since masks are not illegal. Zhukov complained to Lane, but then Mercury jumped him from behind with the sleeper. Zhukov backed Mercury to the ropes and then sent him over the top rope to the floor below. While the Russian continued to complain to the referee Mercury grabbed a foreign object and loaded the forehead of his mask!! Back inside he nailed Zhukov with a kick to the gut, then a headbutt with the loaded mask...and both men went down and out. In fact Buddy Lane counted to 10 and both men were counted out of the match.

 

Promo:

On Tonight's Evening News:

-cause of recent Northwest crash in Detroit, Michigan, said still undetermined

-Emergency landing of Trans World Airlines, Inc. (TWA) passenger plane in Illinois detailed

-Maintenance workers at Denver, Colorado, airport reported discovering grenade detonator in cargo hold of Continental plane

-Verdict in espionage trial of accused USSR spy Marine sergeant Clayton Lonetree and background to case

-Conflict between hikers and mountain cyclists in California

 

Nick Mercury was interviewed after the commercial break. He denies loading his mask, says he shouldn't have drank so much Jolt cola as he didn't know the extra caffeine would do that.

At this point Boris Zhukov returns and attacks Mercury. He lays the boots to him until RCW officials swarm the ring to break it up.

 

[The Terminators retain the RCW Tag Team Titles]

A rare first hour defense of the tag titles, in a rematch with the QCK. The Terminators again had little problem overwhelming the younger and smaller team. One has to wonder who will step up to challenge these two big men.

 

[end of first hour]

 

Strangler Steve Disalvo and Lisa Caress are very upset that he is going to have to defend his title tonight against that ape bounty hunter Big John Studd. In fact Caress is in tears (crocodile tears perhaps would be a better description). Disalvo says this is no normal match when you step into the ring with a man who does not want to win the match, but just wants to cripple you. He tells Goldstein to put a stop to this farce and investigate who put this bounty on him, or else he can't be held responsible for what happens to Studd tonight. Disalvo says that Studd is too old and fat to be getting into a match like this and promises that he will be taken out of the ring in one oversized body bag.

 

-Owen Hart had Kelly beaten from pillar to post, but could not put him away largely due to the power of Kelly. Owen kept trying riskier move after riskier move. Finally Kelly was able to grab the ref and distract him while Madusa jumped up on the apron and knocked Hart off the top turnbuckle to the mat below. A couple moves later and Kelly had the tainted win.

 

Owen Hart is hot, and wants a rematch against Kevin Kelly.

 

Big John Studd has a message for Steve Disalvo. Don't worry about him, worry about yourself because if he uses the heartpunch tonight, not only will Disalvo lose his title, he'll be the one coming out of the ring with a toe tag.  And Studd says he will be $10,000 richer.

 

-Champion played mind games with Lozansky early on, ala Larry Zbyszko, refusing to lock up, complaining about phantom hair pulls, etc. He also used several choke holds and thumbs to the throat that he tried to then explain to referee Jurgen Hermann were legal martial arts moves. Even Hermann was not inept enough to fall for that tactic. Finally Lozansky got rolling about the four minute mark and attacked with his aerial full-tilt style. Champion though caught him leaping from middle buckle and turned it into a powerslam for the 2 count. Champion then went to work with stomps, kicks, a high back body drop, vertical suplex, flying elbowsmash, but when he went for the superkick finisher Lozansky ducked out of the way. The Bullet then took over again, with a double axhandle coming off the ropes, an elbow drop from the second rope, an armcapture suplex, and a swinging neckbreaker. He then sent Champion off the ropes for the flying dropkick, but Champion grabbed onto the top rope and Lozansky ate canvas. He got up right into the superkick and a new champ was crowned.

 

Chris Champion went ballistic, celebrating by himself, posing in all 4 corners, dropping to his knees, kissing the belt, even a couple of tears coming down his face. The fans just jeered him. He waved to the back to try and get the guys to come out and celebrate but there were no takers.

 

Pre-Match:

As we come back from a commercial break, Champion is still celebrating and carrying-on in the ring. Finally Big John Studd comes down for his match, and Champion seeing the look on his face wisely exits the premises.

 

 

Strangler Steve Disalvo (/w Lisa Caress) (Champion)

v

Big John Studd

 

Disalvo ducked away from a couple lock-up attempts and kicked away at the legs of Studd. The challenger though grabbed the champ by the back of the neck and forced him into a lock-up, and then fired him into the corner. Studd pressed his strength advantage early and Disalvo looked like a fish out of water trying to stay mobile. Things seemed to turn around a bit for the champ though when he managed to fight his way out of a bearhug after almost a minute in the hold.

Disalvo struck with a running clothesline from behind, then came off the ropes and did the same from a frontal attack, but Studd stayed on his feet. Incredibly Disalvo then hit a standing dropkick and this time the big man went down.

Disalvo went to work with an armbar, then a half-nelson with Studd on his backside. The big man though got back to his feet, only for the champ to take him back down with a top wristlock. The two men had a test of strength with Studd pushing up from his back and Disalvo pushing down. The fans were pretty evenly split in their support but a few more cheering for Studd then the champion.

Studd lifted his knees up and knocked Disalvo to the side. He went to work with stomps, a hiptoss, a giant kick to the back, then a side suplex. Lisa Caress jumped up on the ringapron but Studd just ignored her. He grabbed Disalvo by the head and pulled him up to his feet. By this time Lisa Caress actually entered the ring and began to hit Studd in the back with her arms. It didn't have any effect on him and rather then toss the match out Buddy Lane escorted her out of the ring and banished her to the back. Studd slammed Disalvo to the mat, and then when the champion got to his feet he was going to hit him with the heartpunch. But wisely Disalvo backed into a corner instead of turning around and facing the challenger.

Studd pursued the champ into the corner as Disalvo reached into his trunks and put on a pair of brass knux, while Lane was still busy with Caress. Disalvo reared back and kicked out at Studd from the corner and then hit him with a clothesline. He then straddled the bounty hunter and held his head with one hand and laid in five straight shots with the brass knuckles, leaving Studd's head a bloody mess. Buddy Lane saw the last couple of shots, saw the brass knux, and called for the

bell.

[Steve Disalvo retained the RCW Heavyweight Title]

 

Disalvo stepped back to look at his carnage and incredibly watched as Studd pushed down on one knee to get himself back on his feet. He kept coming at Disalvo like a punch drunk, and Disalvo nailed him three more times with the brass knux before finally leaving the ring. John Studd remained in the ring, blood streaming down his face, staring at Disalvo as he backed his way up the ramp.

 

That's it for another edition of River City Wrestling.

 

See ya next week!!!

 

August 29, 1987
River City Wrestling #298

Grand Forks, North Dakota

 

Pre-Match:

Owen Hart comes out. He says he expected to wrestle against Kevin Kelly, the self-proclaimed "magnificent" one tonight, but instead he finds out he is taking on Justin McKay. Hart calls out Kevin Kelly, and somewhat surprisingly he answers the call.

Kevin Kelly comes into the ring and tells Hart if he wants a fair match he'll have to wait until next week when his valet Madusa Micelli is back from hunting down that whale Orca. Hart says if Kelly is a man he will do this now, one on one, and not need his skirt to help him out. Kelly says he doesn't need her to help him out, its that he is under emotional distress from being worried about her. Hart tries to bait him some more into the match but he won't have anything to do with it and leaves to a chorus of jeers.

 

-squash match

 

Boris Zhukov comes out and in his broken english explains to Ron Strong how he has been foolish with Nick Mercury the last times they wrestled. But now he has a contract for Mercury to sign, they will fight again tonight, in a "no tricks" match.

Nick Mercury comes out and reads through the contract while Zhukov fumes and yells at him to sign it. Mercury asks him a couple of questions in legalese to confound him and make fun of his limited English skills. Finally though Mercury whips out a pen and signs the contract. Zhukov laughs and says "you dead man waking".

 

 

-squash match for the tag champions

 

Post-Match:

The Terminators complain that those two stiffs were not enough of a warm up for them so they order down two more.

 

-squash match. The tag champs beat the crap out of Petro, then threw him into the corner to tag in Raider, but Raider would have none of it and left the ring. The disgusted tag champs hit their finisher and called it a night.

 

The Terminators say they have surpassed the reign of the Longriders already and proclaim themselves the most dominant tag team in the history of River City Wrestling.

 

The Fall Tradition continues in River City Wrestling as we present the annual Battle Royale. This year as promised it wil be twice as great, as we have not one but two battle royales, with a unique concept. The first battle royale will take place on September 12th and will be made up entirely of fan favorite wrestlers. The second battle royale will take place the following week on September 19th and will be made up entirely of rulebreakers, the villians of RCW. Then the two winners will meet in a best 2 out of 3 falls to determine a decisive winner who will then be the #1 contender and receive a Heavyweight title shot in the near future.

Everyone loves a parade....and everyone loves a battle royale.

 

 

-Cummings had limited difficulty with the hairy Renslow

 

Shawn Cummings says he might have been partying a little too hard this summer at all the great beaches around the Winnipeg area, the bars in Calgary, and the great music festivals across the mid-west, and his career has stalled. It's time to get back to school and pick it up a notch, with his training to try and win the battle royale, and barring that get back into TV title contention.

 

guest: Chris Champion (!?!) 

Yes the egotiscal one had himself as a guest. In fact he kept switching chairs from behind the desk to ask himself a question, to the guest chair to answer it, even switching sometimes to interrupt himself. He then asked himself to sing a few bars of "We are the Champions" and after some coxing by himself, switching back and forth, finally he relented. Looking bashful despite the chorus of jeers he sang the Queen classic. But when he dared ask himself about the match tonight against Mike Lozansky his first title defense, he got mad, and tried to slap himself. The production crew cut the promo at this point and went to commercial.

 

Commercials including this one for Coors Light, the Silver Bullet.

 

-fairly even match but the QCK do not seem to have the same zip as they did in past weeks before losing to the Terminators.

 

Joe Lightfoot comes out to join Eagle & War Cloud. The Three Little Indians say that maybe RCW will finally call a match straight down the middle as they don't like the freak Terminators any better then the Indians.

 

 

[end of first hour]

 

Lisa Caress has a little party set up for Steve Disalvo in the ring, complete with cake, a present (the "Reign in Blood" album from Slayer), and something sexy under her raincoat that she only lets Disalvo take a peek down into. She has brought in some uncomfortable looking people including Ron Strong, Mike Stone, Justin McKay, Bernie Stihl, the Raider, and both the Red and Black Demons to celebrate with them.

The anniversary that they are celebrating was this past week Disalvo passed the 1 year mark as RCW Heavyweight Champion!!

All the celebration comes to a sudden stop when the predictable happens and Big John Studd comes to the ring. All the other wrestlers and announcers immediately scatter. Studd grabs the Slayer album and breaks it over his knee, and is then nailed by Disalvo with a clothesline. He goes for a punch but Studd blocks it grabbing the champ's fist and squeezing, and then nails the heartpunch! The champ drops like a rock to the mat, and a hysterical Lisa Caress attempts to shield him from Studd.

Suddently another man, a newcomer to RCW hits the ring. While certainly not as big as Studd or even Disalvo this guy has a sort of animalistic nature and compact power that does not go along with the name on the back of his tights "Wojo". Wojo though nails Studd from behind and then gives him a half decent belly to back suplex. Disalvo has recovered now, still holding his chest though and he helps Wojo as the two throw Studd out of the ring.

Incredibly through this entire ordeal the "Happy Anniversary" cake remains intact.

 

 

Promo:

When we return from commercial Steve Disalvo introduces his real anniversary present, his new hired bodyguard The Great Wojo. He tells us to watch this tape of him from another territory.

 

 

-Mercury was getting his butt handed to him by Zhukov, but took an opportunity to introduce a roll of coins, stick a wet one to his own forehead and lay down, and plant the roll of coins in the palm of Zhukov's hand. When referee Buddy Lane got up from being bumped out, he saw the carnage and disqualified Zhukov.

 

On September 12th, 1987, in Winnipeg at the fan favorites battle royale the enigma known as Vendetta will make his return to action.

 

Boris Zhukov calls out Marty Goldstein to complain that Nick Mercury broke the rules of his contract and should be suspended. But when they look at the contract Mercury's signature is no where to be found. Zhukov is steamed while Goldstein laughs and asks Zhukov if the KGB ever uses disappearing ink.

 

 

-must have seemed like deja vu all over again to Buck Zumhoffe thrown into the ring with another big, tough customer.

 

Nick Mercury comes out and confirms that he used disappearing ink on that rube Zhukov's contract. When Ron Strong suggests that a scientific wrestler like him should not resort to cheating to beat a guy like Zhukov, Mercury laughs and says, "people who live in stucco houses, shouldn't throw quiche". When Strong asks him if we've seen all his tricks yet he replies, "no, if I haven't got it, I haven't invented it yet". Referee Buddy Lane in a rare appearance of this sort comes out to confront Mercury. He tells the newcomer that he does not take kindly to being made a fool of and if he tries it again he will disqualify him quicker then a Miami minute. Mercury looks confused and says no problem it wont happen again. Then as Lane goes to walk away Mercury goes after him, catching up to him he pats him on the shoulder. Lane spins around, and is greeted with a handshake offer from Mercury. The two shake hands and Mercury watches Lane walk away...with a "kick me" sign stuck to his back.

 

One more set of commercials, and one more beer commercial "give me a light"

 

 

 

Chris Champion (champion)  v  Mike Lozansky

 

Lozansky starts strong and after a monkey flip from a lock-up, he goes to work with an armbar, then a top wrist lock, then while still holding the wrist pounces off the second buckle with a legdrop across the shoulder. Lozansky works from the mat for a couple minutes then takes to the air. He has the match under control and the title in doubt until Champion counters with the Roman-Greco thumb to the eye. He buys time outside the ring and then catches Lozansky with another thumb to the eye from the ring apron. He smashes Lozansky's head off the buckle before entering the ring and taking him down with a double leg takedown and then a half-nelson into a pin, for a 2 count.

Champion then puts Lozansky into a sleeperhold and seems like he might have him until Lozansky slams Champion back into the buckle and then nails a jawbreaker. Both men are down...wait a minute...

Ben Bassarab, former RCW TV champion who forfeited the belt, failed to win the Heavyweight title, and then did not show up for the TV title tournament, comes to the ring...and he's stumbling slightly, not sure on his feet. Ron Strong seems to think maybe some one did a number on him.

Bassarab grabs a mic and enters the ring, with Buddy Lane trying to talk some sense into him.

Bassarab fumbles with the mic before slurring about how he is here for his title shot, his rematch, for his title. He seems to be drunk!!!

Everyone is worried and embarrased, and Marty Goldstein comes running down to the ring. He tries to talk Bassarab to leave the ring but the Edmonton native calls Goldstein a fat shyster who talked him out of his title, and says he hates Goldstein. Goldstein says he's in no shape to be in a ring and needs to leave before he hurts himself. But Bassarab is now starting to get belligerent. But he does leave the ring, only to go snatch the TV title from the announcers table, and shaking off Lane and Goldstein gets back into the ring, fumbling to put the belt around his waist.

This is as much as Chris Champion can handle and he nails Bassarab with a superkick to the jaw which knocks him out!! This enrages Mike Lozansky who punches away at Champion then nails a Northern Lights Suplex and has Champion pinned. Buddy Lane calls for the bell.

 

[Chris Champion retains the RCW Television Title]

 

Well that's it for a very crazy episode of River City Wrestling.

 

See ya next week!!!