We are one week away from the biggest card of the year, Armageddon: the 27th Anniversary card. Next week 3 hours of live free TV including Mike Tyson v Brock Lesnar, the return of WarGames, and the Heavyweight champion Petey Williams against the TV champion Yoshihiro Tajiri.

 

-squash match

 

DDP & Holiday are joined by Blaze Bayley in the ring. They refuse to name who their tag partner will be for War Games except to say he is a proven winner at many levels and can handle himself in any situation. They also tip their hat that he has never been in an MAPW ring before, and that is a shame.

 

 

Tag Team Champions Asp Evergreen and Eddie Chavez come to the ring wearing their tag team titles and drinking Big Gulps. They get a huge ovation from the crowd. They approach a 12 foot wide kiddie pool full of what appears to be jiggly, red, jello.

Asp says that its as obvious as a Howie Mandel punch line that Sean Waltman & Billy Kidman want a title shot, but they aren't going to get one. However, he says he's been dying to wrestle Joanie Laurer ever since she had her chin done so she doesn't look like a man anymore. So here's the deal says Asp. If Joanie comes out here tonight and wrestles, and beats him, in a jello wrestling match then she and Waltman can have a title shot next week but not Kidman.

Yeah, says Eddie, cause we don't wrestle Muppets...well, we might wrestle Animal because he was cool...not like Billy Kermit, cause he had the pig come on to him and everything, and yeah she was kind of fat, but you know, like if your friends weren't watching...

Asp stops him, "dude thats just stupid."

Eddie "why?"

Asp "cause there was always a camera, he couldn't just..well you know...pork"

Eddie, "your right as always snake man"

 

Probably unable to take anymore of this Joanie Laurer comes to the ring with Sean Waltman. After he insults the tag champions, its like water off a ducks back, they agree to the match.

Pamela Paulshock comes out in a bikini to ref the match (its to preview the Bikini Battle Royale next week, really, its not a cheap trick to get ratings..) and sends Waltman and Chavez to the back.

 

-Laurer controlled early and was pounding the snot out of Evergreen. But she missed a legdrop and Asp had the advantage for about 30 seconds that he wasted trying to put her in a crossface chickenwing (at least thats what he appeared to be doing). Laurer fought out of the hold, and slammed Evergreen a couple times. She tried for a splash but Asp brought his knees up. Still hurting and not paying enough attention, when Paulshock came over to check on his condition and put a hand on his shoulder, Asp rolled her up as if for a pin. Paulshock rolled out, but was mad and kicked Asp right between the legs. Incredibly Asp no sold the move as if it didn't hurt, but he was taken care of anyway when Laurer caught him from behind with a bulldog and then pinned him.

 

Eddie Chavez came running in and went right after Laurer, taking her down in the jello. He was soon followed by Waltman and then Kidman. Eventually the villians managed to subdue the tag champs and came out of the jello with the tag champs shorts!! Paulshock quickly retrieved their tag team belts that they used to cover up and walk backward away from the crowd.

 

 

Mentallo defeated Javier Reyes by pinfall after a moonsault at 5:39

-very quick pace and even, but Reyes missed a moonsault from the top rope and Mentallo quickly hit his moonsault to pick up the win.

 

Diamond Rhodes hit the ring and attacked Mentallo from behind. He then held back his arms for Reyes, who hesitated for a couple of seconds before finally letting go a vicious kick that caught Mentallo on the jaw. Seconds later Scott Vick was on the scene swinging a chair to make the save for his tag team partner.

 

The Overlords come to the ring, but its only the men; Adam Riggs, Dan Severn, the Stalk, and Brandon Myers. They go through the usual, it doesn't matter who Bayley has got for a surprise partner for War Games, it'll probably be another queer friend of theirs swinging a purse, and we'll choke him out with his own garter belt.

However, Riggs does mention where April Hunter and Dana Hamm are. It seems that Sarah Stock is nursing an injury and has been given the night off. But the Overlords know where her hotel room is and the girls have gone over there now with a camera crew to put an end to Stock's challenge for Hunter's belt once and for all.

 

 

-this was a traditional tag team match as opposed to the lingerie fashion show we had last week. All four girls fought hard but Mero and Dawn Marie were forced to carry most of the match. DM then played Ricky Morton, and after a brief flurry following a hot tag, Page got beat by a double team which let Mero nail her finisher.

 

We get live coverage of April Hunter and Dana Hamm walking down the corrider of a posh looking hotel, heading to Sarah Stock's room. The announcers remind us that MAPW Rage is taped so there is no way that Stock could be watching the TV right now, but we do know that Blaze Bayley was frantically trying to get a hold of her on the phone to let her know what to expect. We'll see what happens after the break.

 

[end of first hour]

 

April Hunter and Dana Hamm sweet talk a hotel employee to let them into their hotel room. They say their roomate is sleeping so they have to be quiet. The employee retreats down the hallway as Hunter and Hamm sneak into Sarah Stock's hotel room.

It's very dark, and chilly as a window is open despite the December cold. Hamm and Hunter fan out looking for Sarah Stock. Suddenly their prey emerges from the kitchen, not as the prey but as the predator, taking out Hamm by clipping her knee from behind. She grabs her cat-o-nine-tails and goes after Hunter who blocks the weapon and tangles with Stock. The two begin to roll around, over a leather couch, knocking over a glass coffee table. Hunter is choking Stock with the cat-o-nine-tails but Stock grabs a vase and smashes Hunter over the head.

Hamm is back up and drives Stock against a wall. She gives her a couple of sholder blocks and then tries to whip her across the rooom but Stock reverses it and sends Hamm flying head first over the toppled couch. Now its Hunter's turn to come back for more but Stock monkeyflips her against the wall knocking her out. Stock rubs her hands together and looks into the camera, "looks like my work here is done". She then proceeds to walk out the door, the cameraman following her leather clad body.

 

-Both these Hoss' can go, and worked the mat well. Brock had the size advantage and is one of few wrestlers who can match the Stalk's ability in submission and MMA moves. But it still took over 10 minutes for Lesnar to overcome Stalk as well as the meddlings of Dan Severn.

 

Petey Williams will be teaming with Ultimo Dragon in our main event in sort of a mixed-feud match against their individual opponents for Armageddon, Yoshi Tajiri & Vampiro. Williams is confident in their ability to win the match, but his main concern is that while Tajiri is sneaky and underhanded, Vampiro is just plain sick. He wants to make sure that the Ultimo Dragon is up to the match and has his back.

 

 

-Riggs made very short work of O'Haire but the big question is how will his mystery protege fair next week against O'Haire.

 

Vampiro doesn't have too much to say about his tag match coming up. He says Williams has a right to be concerned, because beating Ultimo Dragon does nothing for him but put a notch in his belt. On the other hand when he sees the Heavyweight champion standing across the ring from him, well he would do anything to secure a future title shot.

 

 

WarGames:

Blaze Bayley, Diamond Dallas Page, Sam Holiday, and a mystery partner

v

Adam Riggs, Brandon Myers, Dan Severn, and The Stalk

 

2 Falls, Champion v Champion. TV Title on the line in the first fall,

Heavyweight title on the line in the second fall.

Petey Williams  v  Yoshihiro Tajiri

 

Wrestler  v  Boxer  Match

Brock Lesnar  v  Iron Mike Tyson

 

MAPW Tag Team Title Match

Asp Evergreen & Eddie Chavez (c) v Sean Waltman & Joanie Laurer

 

Grudge Match

Ultimo Dragon  v  Vampiro

 

Premiere of Adam Riggs' protege

Sean O'Haire  v  ???

 

MAPW Women's Title Match

April Hunter (champion)  v  Sarah Stock

 

Scott Vick & Mentallo  v  Diamond Rhodes & Javier Reyes

 

Special Bikini Battle Royale

Dawn Marie, Christy Hemme, Pamela Paulshock, Kimberly Page, Rena Mero

 

 

Petey Williams & Ultimo Dragon  v  Yoshi Tajiri & Vampiro

 

What could have turned into a real clusterfrick ended up being an excellent tag team battle. Williams got caught early by a double team and played Ricky Morton for a couple minutes before making the tag. Dragon faired better but eventually Tajiri managed to outwrestle him on the mat and get him into an armbar, then a bodyscissor, and then a crossface. Finally Dragon was able to tag out and Williams came in a house o' fire. He nailed Vampiro with the Canadian Destroyer but Vamp was not the legal man in the ring. Tajiri went to work with some kicks and suplexes before taking the match outside. A four man brawl errupted and threatened to end this match early but referee James Beard managed to restore order and the legal men battled back into the ring. A series of quick tags by each team, followed by a little Texas Tornado action. Once again Petey Williams was able to hit the Canadian Destroyer on Vampiro but again he wasn't the legal man in the ring. But once he recovered he managed to naile Williams coming off the ropes with a chair to the back, unseen by Beard. Tajiri nailed a fisherman suplex on Williams and picked up the pin.

 

 

Post-Match:

Vampiro attacks Ultimo Dragon from behind with the chair while Tajiri rolls Williams over and spits green mist in his face, as we

 

FADE TO BLACK